Some Pig.  That was enough to save Wilbur from the chopping block.  Everyone was glad when Wilbur didn’t have to become Christmas dinner, but not all pigs are as cute and cuddly as Wilbur.  For these pigs, the lack of a compassionate little girl and a literate spider means impending doom.  While farm pigs can be a little bit on the ugly side, at least they aren’t creepier than being followed by a frowning clown.  I say this because there is a pig that is that disturbing.

For anyone who has watched TV during the last two weeks, you know what I’m talking about.  A half-human, half-pig mutant monstrosity dressed in a pink suite and bow tie stalks hard-working individuals asking for their money.  Well, he doesn’t exactly ask, he just puts out his hand.  It’s as if the people in the commercial know something bad will happen if they don’t “feed the pig.” 

I’d hate to speculate what happens if the pig is not appeased.  If you’ve ever seen Red Dragon, one of the Hannibal Lecter movies, you know that some pigs can be rather unpleasant if not fed.  A humanesque pig intelligent enough to dress itself?  Now that could be problematic.       

I realize feeding the pig is a metaphor for saving money, but do you really need to give little kids nightmares about it?  That pig is worse than the Boogeyman.  Who knows when he will pop up?  Hey, I just made an impulse gum purchase in the checkout line.  Dear God! It’s The Pig!  Aaaah! 

Out of the Three Little Pigs, Wilbur, and the Feed the Pig pig, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.  But I think even Meatloaf would agree that this pig is one eerie guy.  The American Institute of Certified Public Accountants is the organization behind The Pig.  I’m sure their intentions are well-placed, but did they consult with the American Marketing Association on this one?  Hopefully being a CPA doesn’t turn you into some sort of half-beast hell-bent on making people save money. 

This pig could be something for The History Channel’s MonserQuest to check out.  There are monster, and then there are thieves, but monster thieves?  People giving money and financial information to an unknown human is bad, but to The Pig?  I’ll let you know more as soon as possible about this pig.    

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